Pay it Forward

Almost every family has those difficult years when they realize that it won't be the picture-perfect Christmas. Mom and Dad know there's barely or not enough money to pay the bills, much less buy presents for the kids, gifts for the teachers, mail guys, and food for all the holiday parties. Almost every family has a year when things are tight. It's almost enough to make you forget the meaning of Christmas.

This Christmas, I'd like to share with you one of my favorite Christmas memories. You might think it was the one where Santa brought me that Pound Puppy sleeping bag I wanted for a whole year, or those leather boots I wanted. And while those two rank pretty high up there, the year that leaves one of the most defining moments on my heart, was one of the hardest on my family.

I was too little to know exactly how old I was. I think maybe between 4-6 years old. Maybe younger, I don't remember- so some of the details are sketchy. I do remember that it was one of the years that my dad once again said, "there will be no presents this year". I think it was the year my dad was layed off from his job. I remember my younger brother had been sick- in the hospital alot, and now, as an adult, I think my parents had lost their health insurance when my dad was layed off. Needless to say, things were bad. There were only 3 of us 5 kids at the time, but it was tough.

The main thing I remember is that these guys from the fire department showed up at the back door, with a huge box of food and presents for us kids. I remember opening my gift. It was a stuffed pillow shaped like a little girl skunk. I remember she was so pretty, and had flowers on her head. And down on the bottom, there was a little label that had been either ironed on, or sewed, and it said my name. Amanda. I couldn't believe it. It had been made just for me. Rebekah got a little girl bunny one, and Josh a little boy bunny one. I remember I loved that skunk for years. I'm pretty sure Rebekah held onto her bunny for a long time too. I'll never forget my skunk.

That was just one of the many years that others came to our rescue. Things were always tight at our house. Five kids, someone usually sick, and maybe even in the hospital. Boxes of love at church, my grandma, lots of people.

I know now, as an adult and a parent, that it must've been so hard for my parents. Another year of not knowing what Santa would bring your kids THIS time, or even if. I know now, that my parents swallowed alot of pride to make sure that at Christmas, and even in our everyday lives, our needs were met. There were lots of beans and rice, spam and instant potatoes at my house growing up. But now, we're all grown, and going home is one of my favorite things. I'm so thankful for everyone of them.

But the point I'm trying to make is this. If you haven't done something for someone else this season, think about it. For the first time in my adult life, this year, Martin and I were able to sponsor a girl on the dove tree at church. This is something I've always wanted to do. Let me tell you that shopping for her was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I wanted to give her everything. I kept remembering my skunk pillow, and thinking that one day she might look back on this, and pay it forward to someone else. I won't see her open those gifts this Christmas, but maybe someone who loves her will, and it will mean just as much to them.

My heart is so full this Holiday season, and I hope that we can all remember to share with others the way God shared with us. Merry Christmas!

Freeze Frame

Ever have one of those days, when you think... "Please just let me freeze this day in my mind forever.... I'm so happy right now, I just want to take a mental snapshot, and never forget how happy I am." My wedding day, of course, was such a day, as were the days that my boys were born- or should I say, after my boys were born- the prelude was a bit long.

About my wedding day, a friend was wise enough to give great advice- take a minute ever so often, stop what you're doing, and just look- pay attention the sights and sounds, so that they are always burned into your memory.

I had another day like this on Saturday. You would think it would be something significant. A wonderful event, but it was just living life. Just a regular day. We went to the grocery store, so Mason and Martin could pick out firewood for our first fire of the season. I could tell Mason felt pretty important, being part of the process- and he wanted to do everything Martin did. Afterwards, he was mesmerized by the fire (half the guys in my family are, anyway), and sat staring into it- so peaceful, and happy. We put Coen in the swing, and he just sat there happily, while Martin and I got dinner ready in the kitchen. No TV blaring- just quiet, and our conversation, and the red, white and green glow of Christmas lights from the tree. Perfect, Norman Rockwell stuff.

It was a freeze frame moment. I don't want to every forget the little moments like that, and that's why I wrote that one down. Hopefully, I won't forget it.

Priceless

Ohhhh. I have to tell you. There's nothing philosophical or sociological here today. I think I broke several of the Practical Life Applications 101 over the weekend. See- maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.

Martin and I were lucky enough to hang out with several good long-distance friends this weekend, and have some alone time. This is among the first that we've had since Coen's been born (he's six months on Saturday). BOY, did I need the break. We had a great time in Dallas, guys, and are so thankful for each one of you- each for a special, unique reason. I think I've told you all why.

Martin shines in the workplace, as always, and I'm proud to be his wife.

We also took a 3 1/2 hour detour, and drove up to O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A to see my brother Tim. Let me tell you that the time we spent there was priceless. We spent more time in the car than actually with him, but I can't erase the memory of his big smile from heart, and I'm so happy we did it. When he teared up when we were about to leave, I jokingly told him, "See, now you know how it feels to be left behind". It seems like we're usually the ones wiping the tears. Well, I still was- driving away. The little brother that will always pull at my heart strings. Who am I kidding? All the sibs do.

All in all, a good weekend, with wonderful shining moments, and a couple not so great ones, too.

But the topper, seeing my two boys- so happy to see me. Coen about to spring out of my Dad's arms to grab me, and Mason- free with the hugs and kisses.

Priceless, priceless, priceless. All of it.