Pressures of the WAHSAHM

I, as a wife and mother, am in a very unique situation. I have been blessed to find myself in a role that most moms would love to have. Some days I'm glad I have it, some days, I'm not.

I have the privelege of being a Work-at-Home-Stay-at-Home-Mom... "WAHSAHM" for short. Notice that it doesn't say SAHM, as in Stay-at-Home-Mom- the term applied to mothers who do not work outside the home. That in itself is another topic for me. Those women work their tails off.... but, I digress.

There are some days when I feel that the pressures of being a WAHSAHM are immeasurable, and insurmountable. I have been in two roles, as a Mom. I have been both full-time employee while being a mom, and now, a WAHSAHM. The reality is, as most women are finding out- you can't give 100% at both (work and family), all the time. You will have nothing left. So something suffers, or you do a mediocre job at both. Please know that I am not picking on Moms who work outside the home. As I said, I was once in that role too, by necessity- but as our financial situation changed a bit, I decided I would try it this way.

Anyway, when I worked full-time- I felt that people (husband, family, boss, neighbors, friends) somehow cut me some slack- if the house was a mess, the laundry wasn't done, or I was scatter-brained. Because, after all- and I heard this lots of times- "you can't do everything!"

Now, my slack dwindles down to nothing. Afterall, I'm a WAHSAHM- (most people forget the WAH, and just think of me as a SAHM), and getting everything done should be fairly easy. I'm home all day, right?

WRONG. Baby still cries spontaneously, and erratically, kids need to eat, lunch has to be packed, house cleaned, laundry done. Clients will call while you're wiping poop, or giving a bath (thank God for voice mail). A quick trip to the computer to check your email for work ends up being an hour-and-a half goose chase to tie up a loose end. And suddenly, not only do I suffer from Mother's Attention Deficit Disorder, but I throw work in there too.

Now, it would be wrong for me to say that I don't enjoy my position. I do. There are days when it is GREAT. I take Mason outside, or we make crafts, or play UNO in the middle of the day. But, there are days like the ones I mentioned, when clients are calling, and I'm giving him the "evil eye" or shooshing him when I'm on the phone. Running around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to decide what to do first- answer that long-awaited return phone call from a customer, or give Mason a snack...

The reality of it is, I am still trying to meet everyone's expectations. SAHMs are supposed to be raising perfect children, and maintaining clean houses, happy husbands, and having play-dates and girls' night outs. I'm striving to do this, while pulling in that extra money we must have every month. And the months when I'm not pulling it in- well, believe me, we feel it.

Martin has told me over and over again, that he doesn't expect those things. The reality of it, is that he does. And he deserves to. He works hard all day, and deserves those things. I want to give him those things. So a lot of the pressure comes from within myself. My strive to give everyone what they want, and what they need.

Some days the reality of those pressures are too much, and I want to sit on the couch, and just be that fabled woman that eats the bon-bons and watches TV all day (does she exist? I doubt it).

The bottom line is, the Bible says it's my job to raise children in the Godly way they should go. Think about the implications of that. That alone is a HUGE job. It's what I expect of myself.