He's still working on me

Something has been on my mind here lately, and now I'm going to write about it. Forgive me if it comes across as a tirade or sermonette. But, this is why I blog. I should mention that this has been one of the hardest blogs I've written, and I've revised it about 5 times now- all in an effort to keep the tone as far from judgemental as possible.

There is a person in my life right now, for which I feel extremely burdened. This person has made quite a few mistakes in their life- mistakes that are obvious and have hurt many people. But yet, I see this person's needs. I want to help and encourage them. I want to show them compassion and love. I feel called to do this. I would love to see other Christians join me in the ministry of encouraging people like that. Because, you see- we are all like that.

However, I often notice that we are not forgiving and compassionate towards those with the "obvious mistakes". We might try to help them in the beginning, but get tired of seeing the same things over, and over again. We give up on people. We even become bitter or angry at seeing them "mess things up again".

But, we are not put on this earth to "fix" people. We are put here to be living, breathing vessels of God's Grace, Love, Compassion and Mercy. My imperfections are so obvious to me each and every day. Some people have instantly obvious, open struggles and battles, while some have equally dark, hidden ones. The odds are, most people already know what their issues are, and are trying to work on them. They don't need their mistakes pointed out for them- they already know. While there is a need and a purpose for a spiritual mentor, God will guide us to the ones for which we are matched.

Jesus Christ ate with sinners. Felt compassion for them. Told stories about the prodigal son, and the lost sheep. Do you really think that God thinks, "Oh, here goes so-and-so again, repentant for their sins.... but it doesn't really matter because they're going to do it again next week- the cycle never ends." NOOOOOOO!!!!! Thank God that He doesn't think that way, or else I'd be in big trouble. One statement a Pastor in my church has made about our church, and Christian fellowship, is that we are "not a hotel for saints, but a hospital for sinners". There are consequences for sin. I think we can all vouch for that, from personal experience. But there's grace, and mercy, too.

This morning, I was mulling over this topic, and a song from a long, long time ago came to my mind. It's one I used to love to sing when I was little, but I don't think I really understood the words. (I'm not sure who to give props for on this song, or if I even have the words in the right order).

He's still working on me...
To make me what I ought to be...
It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars,
the sun and the earth, and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be.
Cause He's still working on me.

There really ought to be
a sign across my heart-
"Don't judge me yet, there's an unfinished part"
But I'll be perfect- just according to His plan.
I'm fashioned by the Master's loving hands.

God's still working on each and every one of us. The work doesn't stop the day you accept Jesus as Savior. That doesn't make you perfect. The work continues till the day you leave the earth. And His forgiveness, grace and mercy continue until the day we leave the earth and beyond. God understands that we're human, and we might be making the same mistakes at 60 that we made at 25. Hopefully, we learn, but if we don't- He loves us just the same. And we should at least try to treat each other with the same grace.

It wadn't me... or maybe it was...

Okay, so for Christmas, most people opt to treat their moms to a special gift. Jewelry, a nice sweater, warm fuzzy slippers, you know the drill. Well, for some reason, I usually end up nearly poisoning my mom on most holidays.

Let me elaborate. This Christmas, I made broccoli casserole, as I normally do, for Christmas dinner at my Grandma's house. I should mention that I've made this casserole at Thanksgiving for YEARS, and several Christmases.

Anyways, after dinner, we're all sitting around in comatose states, when my mom approaches and asked, "Amanda- what was in the broccoli casserole?" I immediately know that she must be feeling sick, and is hinting that I might've used something with beta carotene in it. See, my mom is HIGHLY allergic to beta carotene. This is a pretty rare allergy, and one that has presented me with many challenges when trying to prepare food she can eat. She hasn't always had this allergy, and developed it as an adult. I remember a couple years ago, happily bringing my appetizer veggie tray- complete with carrots. My dad had a cow, and couldn't believe I'd even bring carrots into the house. It just took some getting used to- I wasn't used to her allergy, and kept forgetting. I've unknowingly made dips with seasonings that contain beta carotene; and served cake lovingly covered with Cool Whip, which also contains beta carotene.

This year, I was determined NOT to poison my mom, so I stuck with safe bets when preparing my dishes- the standby broccoli casserole, a dip without any beta carotene, and a spinach dip. So when my Mom approached me about the food, I instantly bristled- "It wasn't me------ I didn't do it. The only things in the broccoli casserole are broccoli, rice, butter, flour, cheese and mustard. It wasn't me, this time, I was careful." Mom was feeling worse by the minute, and about 10 minutes went by before my dad approached me about what beta carotene I'd served my mom this time. I stared at the broccoli casserole- stirring it around, and racking my brain to figure out in what form I'd served the beta carotene. At this point, everyone knew it HAD to have been me. I'm notorious for it. Then I remembered another ingredient- Cream of Chicken soup. I turned to Dad "Unless.... well, does cream of chicken........" Everyone looked at each other. Apparently, everyone else knew that Cream of Chicken soup has beta carotene in it. I'd done it again- unwittingly tried to poison my mom. I was so embarrassed, and ran to the bathroom to hide. Of course, they all tried to make me feel better, but I'm sure I'll be the butt of many jokes as time goes by.

Apparently, mom doesn't normally eat the broccoli casserole at most holidays, but I didn't know that...

When I got home, I dug the Cream of Chicken soup can out of the trash- just to see if it REALLY was my fault. Sure enough... there it was- "contains beta carotene for coloring".

To sum up Christmas

Our Christmas was action packed, and full of family. Martin and I are fortunate to have some of both sides of our family here in Charlotte, so we get to see most of them at Holidays. It makes for quite a marathon, though.

Christmas Eve we had Manfred and Barbara over for the traditional Buteau Touche pie. This is a pie made of ground beef, ground pork, mashed potatoes, celery and onions. Not bad, but most of us like to eat it with ketchup. This is a tradition Martin has carried over from his mother's side of the family. Before dinner, the boys opened their gifts from Grammy and Grampy, and also the traditional Christmas Eve pj's and socks from us. This year's pj selection was "Moosin' around" from Old Navy. Thanks to Grammy and Grampy for all the wonderful gifts! Mason's favorite is a guitar- he provided the entertainment during dinner- "Okay, Ladies and genlemen- here we go- 1,2,3- Action!" followed by Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star "played" and sung on the guitar.

Late Christmas Eve night, Martin and I exchanged gifts. This a tradition I love, since we get to do it alone, and Christmas morning is so hectic now, with kids.

Christmas morning, we found that Santa had visited, and had left for Mason a Star Wars light saber building kit (per Mason's request), and a Star Wars Lego computer game- it was a Star Wars Christmas. Santa left Coen a book, and bath tub toys. Coen was actually more into it than we thought he'd be. It was fun.

I threw together a few recipes for Grandma's house, and we headed over. We swapped gifts with my family, and enjoyed a lunch of baked ham, roast, turkey, mac-n-cheese, broccoli casserole, biscuits, cranberry sauce, green beans, potatoes, and more.

After leaving Grandma's, the boys sacked out in the car, so we opted not to head over to Martin's stepbrother's. Coen is recovering from an ear infection, and brochiolitis, and since it was so rainy, and cold, and he hadn't napped, we thought it would be best for him to get home, and rest.

All in all, it was a great day. We missed those we didn't get to see (especially the crew at Rich and Laura's), and are so grateful we saw the ones we did.

For those of you who asked, here's my new Cheddar-Beer Spread recipe:

2 cloves of garlic, sauteed in olive oil, and chopped

1 block 8 oz. cream cheese softened

Approx. 8 oz. shredded cheddar cheese

1/2 cup beer

Combine all ingredients in bowl. It will be runny, but then pop it in the oven for approximately 20 minute at about 350 degrees, or until bubbly- give it a stir. I served it with beer bread that I chopped into cubes, tossed lightly with olive oil and pepper, and retoasted on broil in the oven. (Watch them so they don't burn). It's also really good served with tortilla chips or crackers.

Pay it Forward

Almost every family has those difficult years when they realize that it won't be the picture-perfect Christmas. Mom and Dad know there's barely or not enough money to pay the bills, much less buy presents for the kids, gifts for the teachers, mail guys, and food for all the holiday parties. Almost every family has a year when things are tight. It's almost enough to make you forget the meaning of Christmas.

This Christmas, I'd like to share with you one of my favorite Christmas memories. You might think it was the one where Santa brought me that Pound Puppy sleeping bag I wanted for a whole year, or those leather boots I wanted. And while those two rank pretty high up there, the year that leaves one of the most defining moments on my heart, was one of the hardest on my family.

I was too little to know exactly how old I was. I think maybe between 4-6 years old. Maybe younger, I don't remember- so some of the details are sketchy. I do remember that it was one of the years that my dad once again said, "there will be no presents this year". I think it was the year my dad was layed off from his job. I remember my younger brother had been sick- in the hospital alot, and now, as an adult, I think my parents had lost their health insurance when my dad was layed off. Needless to say, things were bad. There were only 3 of us 5 kids at the time, but it was tough.

The main thing I remember is that these guys from the fire department showed up at the back door, with a huge box of food and presents for us kids. I remember opening my gift. It was a stuffed pillow shaped like a little girl skunk. I remember she was so pretty, and had flowers on her head. And down on the bottom, there was a little label that had been either ironed on, or sewed, and it said my name. Amanda. I couldn't believe it. It had been made just for me. Rebekah got a little girl bunny one, and Josh a little boy bunny one. I remember I loved that skunk for years. I'm pretty sure Rebekah held onto her bunny for a long time too. I'll never forget my skunk.

That was just one of the many years that others came to our rescue. Things were always tight at our house. Five kids, someone usually sick, and maybe even in the hospital. Boxes of love at church, my grandma, lots of people.

I know now, as an adult and a parent, that it must've been so hard for my parents. Another year of not knowing what Santa would bring your kids THIS time, or even if. I know now, that my parents swallowed alot of pride to make sure that at Christmas, and even in our everyday lives, our needs were met. There were lots of beans and rice, spam and instant potatoes at my house growing up. But now, we're all grown, and going home is one of my favorite things. I'm so thankful for everyone of them.

But the point I'm trying to make is this. If you haven't done something for someone else this season, think about it. For the first time in my adult life, this year, Martin and I were able to sponsor a girl on the dove tree at church. This is something I've always wanted to do. Let me tell you that shopping for her was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I wanted to give her everything. I kept remembering my skunk pillow, and thinking that one day she might look back on this, and pay it forward to someone else. I won't see her open those gifts this Christmas, but maybe someone who loves her will, and it will mean just as much to them.

My heart is so full this Holiday season, and I hope that we can all remember to share with others the way God shared with us. Merry Christmas!

Freeze Frame

Ever have one of those days, when you think... "Please just let me freeze this day in my mind forever.... I'm so happy right now, I just want to take a mental snapshot, and never forget how happy I am." My wedding day, of course, was such a day, as were the days that my boys were born- or should I say, after my boys were born- the prelude was a bit long.

About my wedding day, a friend was wise enough to give great advice- take a minute ever so often, stop what you're doing, and just look- pay attention the sights and sounds, so that they are always burned into your memory.

I had another day like this on Saturday. You would think it would be something significant. A wonderful event, but it was just living life. Just a regular day. We went to the grocery store, so Mason and Martin could pick out firewood for our first fire of the season. I could tell Mason felt pretty important, being part of the process- and he wanted to do everything Martin did. Afterwards, he was mesmerized by the fire (half the guys in my family are, anyway), and sat staring into it- so peaceful, and happy. We put Coen in the swing, and he just sat there happily, while Martin and I got dinner ready in the kitchen. No TV blaring- just quiet, and our conversation, and the red, white and green glow of Christmas lights from the tree. Perfect, Norman Rockwell stuff.

It was a freeze frame moment. I don't want to every forget the little moments like that, and that's why I wrote that one down. Hopefully, I won't forget it.

Priceless

Ohhhh. I have to tell you. There's nothing philosophical or sociological here today. I think I broke several of the Practical Life Applications 101 over the weekend. See- maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.

Martin and I were lucky enough to hang out with several good long-distance friends this weekend, and have some alone time. This is among the first that we've had since Coen's been born (he's six months on Saturday). BOY, did I need the break. We had a great time in Dallas, guys, and are so thankful for each one of you- each for a special, unique reason. I think I've told you all why.

Martin shines in the workplace, as always, and I'm proud to be his wife.

We also took a 3 1/2 hour detour, and drove up to O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A to see my brother Tim. Let me tell you that the time we spent there was priceless. We spent more time in the car than actually with him, but I can't erase the memory of his big smile from heart, and I'm so happy we did it. When he teared up when we were about to leave, I jokingly told him, "See, now you know how it feels to be left behind". It seems like we're usually the ones wiping the tears. Well, I still was- driving away. The little brother that will always pull at my heart strings. Who am I kidding? All the sibs do.

All in all, a good weekend, with wonderful shining moments, and a couple not so great ones, too.

But the topper, seeing my two boys- so happy to see me. Coen about to spring out of my Dad's arms to grab me, and Mason- free with the hugs and kisses.

Priceless, priceless, priceless. All of it.