Tilt-A-World

The other night I had a dream that I was going to the top of a really tall building to enjoy dinner at a five star Asian restaurant. It was beautiful up there- orchids everywhere, rich colors of purple, gold and red filling the room, and comfortable white leather couches that were sleek yet comfortable to sink into while we enjoyed dinner. While waiting to be seated, patrons could enjoy a giant ride- out on the balcony- that resembled a flower. Each patron could sit inside one of the flower petals and the ride would lift up and spin round and round while spinning round and round- picture the "Scrambler" or the "Tea Cups"- but in the air- on top of a sky scraper. I like these kind of rides, but the only problem was, the safety bar came unlatched on four of the cars, including mine. I held on for dear life. When I got off, they asked if my kids wanted to ride it next. My answer was a firm, "NO! They're NOT getting on this ride."

I'm not sure what that dream has to do with this blog, but go ahead, psycho-analyze that. And no, there was no alcohol or drugs to aide in the creation of said dream.

Now, I do want to say that my family is in the midst of the middle school transition. Lots of parents have shrugged this off when I mentioned it- stating that it's no big deal. I'll tell you right now it sure feels like a big deal. Bigger than Kindergarten. When I read stories of what goes on in middle school among middle schoolers now, I am terrified. And truthfully, coming from a small Christian school where I was a goodie-goodie- I can't relate. The stories of sex, porn, drugs, alcohol, bullying and suicide alone send me into the fetal prayer position. What if he's bullied and doesn't tell me? What if he sees stuff he shouldn't and doesn't ask? What if he falls into the wrong crowd? What if all we've tried to teach him doesn't stick? What if he doesn't feel loved? It makes my heart hurt.

I've not worried too much about my Mason with things like this in the past, and truthfully, I'm trusting God that I won't need to now. I'm doing all the stuff they say to do- keep communication open, pray, pray, pray; stay informed. And it's not that I don't think he's ready. I know he is. I know in some states they start middle school in 7th grade instead of 6th, but because of what I've read recently, I've realized I am SO thankful my son is moving into middle school at the 6th grade level at church too. There are questions and situations that he will face that will take more than a parent can give, and for that I am thankful, thankful, thankful to have the reinforcement of my church, and hopefully- some new much prayed for godly, positive influences in his life.

Coen is struggling too a little, I think. He is holding my hand a lot, and didn't play with friends on the playground at Popsicles with the Principal- he just stuck close to me. Mason was at the middle school doing the middle school stuff and I could tell it was really hitting home for him that he will be solo too. If all goes the way it should, they will never walk the same halls of the same school at the same time again. Which will be tough for these two peas in a pod- at least the little one.



I've posted pictures on Facebook of Mason and his new violin, and walking the yellow locker lined halls, and I think people think that is what's freaking me out. That's not it. Well, maybe a little (when I think about him scrambling from class to class with only 4 minutes, forgetting notebooks, losing cell phones, getting said cell phone confiscated for the year, not writing down home work, being late for class, or worse- going to the wrong class, dressing out for PE and being uncomfortable, well, there's just a few things)... but the truth is, that stuff is really exciting. A chance for him to grow up, and learn and be responsible. Which also brings a tear because I feel like I'm at a precipice where I'm grasping to hold on to the little boy I love, and he's just not going to be that - on the outside at least, anymore.

We're practicing combination locks, the route to classes, going over all the things we can prep him for on the halls of the middle school. Once he has middle school down, high school will be a breeze. And then college, and then life...

So yes, I'm freaking a little. And hoping and praying that all that we've taught and loved and prayed will stick and continue to stick. I covet your prayers for all of us, as Mason gets on this brand new ride.