The Brother's Funeral

This was a day to remember my Dad's uncle. My grandfather's brother. A man I hardly knew, but now know, I should've. Over the last week, I have winced and cringed at the thought of the grief that would follow finding a loved one gone. Especially the one with whom you have spent 37 years with. Your soul mate. Given to you, yet taken away. A father, a brother, a husband, a friend.

The funeral was as I expected it to be...... filled with the King James, and the sounds of gospel songs that have survived many years- (with good reason), filling our ears. Our Hope.

I filed in with Martin, into one of the family rows.... feeling that I didn't deserve to be there- that I hadn't spent enough time to deserve a space. I listened to the description of the man, the words that were a testament to the man that I didn't know he was. How he bought that new minister his new study Bible, how he would press money into the pastor's hand on Sunday mornings, all those things, unknown to us. Later, my sister comment that she didn't know these things about him. I mentioned that I didn't either. "But", I said "it is the ones that do these things quietly, that most often do it with the right heart."

Later, I sat with her... my great aunt. She is looking frail, and thin. Her hair is no longer her own. I can tell that she didn't think that the circumstances would be like this... All of us there, at her brother's funeral. I wasn't sure what to say to her. But, I grabbed her hand, and she held onto it. I was surprised by how firmly she grasped it. I told her, "I wanted to come by and talk to you...." Tears filled my eyes. "You've always been so kind to me." I was shocked when she started to cry. Her once pleasantly plump face crumpled, and her now frail shoulders started to shake. She mentioned the photos of the boys that I sent to her every Christmas, and told me that they mean so much to her. I told her that I'm so sorry for her loss, and how the older I get the more I love my siblings, and how I can't imagine....

She just cried, and held my hand, and then started to make small talk about how he (her hubby) was supposed to run go get the car...

I just want to thank her for always being so thoughtful, and kind.... she seemed to always love to be on the lookout for neat things for us girls....

And I just want to say that I feel the loss of this, my family, deep in my heart. No, I wasn't the closest. But I have felt losses like this, first hand, and I have you all in my thoughts and prayers.